My Oncologist did my hair

I made the decision on Sunday to shave my head, I went outside to talk to my husband and put my hand in my hair and the handfuls of hair that were coming out just made me more depressed.  Joshua looked at me and said “babe it’s getting thin, it might be time”.  I agreed and made the call to my hairdresser Sarah. All I can tell you is that she has been absolutely AMAZING through this whole journey.  If you need a good stylist and live in GA go see her, she works at Fantastic Sam’s in Hiram.  When I first went to cut length off because the amount of hair that started coming out was a bit overwhelming she was like tell me how short and we will transition to you eventually to not having any.  I cried and she just let me, she said just think when it comes back we can really get crazy with the color!  That of course made me smile.  So we did a bob, it was cute but man I missed being able to have a ponytail.  Well after about 2 weeks and constantly having hair fall out I texted her again and told her we need to go shorter, so I showed up and she had pictures of cuts that I might like.  To tell you the truth, I wasn’t expecting her to go the extra mile and was happy that she took the time and cared.  We did the cut, shortest I have ever had my hair in my entire life. I can tell you I hated every moment of it and people with short hair, I give you props.  It takes way to long to fix short hair than long, I was late to my chemo appointment because of my hair.  Well round 3.1 hit and man, talking about a switch being turned on telling my hair it was time just to let loose.  I would get dressed and my shirt would be covered in hair, I would shower and for 10 minutes I would be taking handfuls of hair throwing it out.  I figured I gave myself enough mental abuse and needed to just let it go.

So, I texted Sarah and met her on Tuesday.  This time I brought my older boys with me as a support system.  Maddox was amazing, he made me not think about what was going on, Bodie well he was Bodie he ignored everything and said nothing, eventually he said mom it’s weird seeing you with no hair.  Sarah looked at my hair one last time and said well you do have some bald patches and you have gotten super thin so i guess it is time.  We went with a 1 guard but the shorter my hair got the balder my head was so we eventually went with no guard.  Once all my hair was gone my head finally felt normal again.  Yes, weird to say but my scalp use to hurt as the hair was coming out, when I said that to Sarah she said it wasn’t the first time she heard it and that it was most likely the follicles breaking from the scalp.  

It’s been 2 days now without hair and the little bit that looked like it was growing back in has now gone away, I have stubble but I’m sure it too will soon go away.  Guess this will be me until the end of treatment.

Just a side note—I never knew how much warmth my hair gave me until it was gone.  I now sleep with a cap, yes very weird and I haven’t slept well since I started using it.  I keep a hat on almost all day, I have some scarves but they aren’t as warm.  I’m going to start looking at ball caps soon, as summer approaches, I will invest in more sun screen to keep my head from burning. 

Just wish me luck in getting through this part, I truly can say that if this is my punishment for things I have done wrong, well the note has been taken and I will do right going forward no matter what.  I’m sure I’ll still cry a bit more but it’s all still an adjustment game, I just really hate this part and can’t wait till it’s all over.